Besides the general state of the world, my neighborhood, and my country, one of the things that concern me is the state of my internet. By my internet, I mean the part that I routinely loiter in. It is my neighborhood. In MY neighborhood, particularly the block I call Facebook, I do not want certain undesirables.
You should not use Facebook if you meet any of the following criteria:
Under 18.
- Had a kid before graduating HS.
- Post Emo “Selfpics”.
- Appear alone in webcam pics.
- Have a state ID card instead of a drivers license (unless in the case of disability)
- Use methamphetamines.
- Already have a profile…on the Megan’s Law website.
- Your profile picture has a Sears portrait studio background.
Facebook is a place for people between the ages of 19 and 37. No more. No less. The standards ought to be fairly straightforward. Facebook is a serious part of the land known as the internet. It is a place where people connect with people that they have not seen in a really long time, work with, or some actual friends. It is not a place for psychotic moms to convince other people’s kids to kill themselves.
Facebook is a place to show your pictures of your vacation to Costa Rica, you and your friends wearing your soccer scarves, or pictures of people of legal age imbibing way too much alcohol. Pink and black backgrounds with AFI music playing are not welcome.
Call me an elitist, call me a jerk, but if I have to come out of my ivory tower, I am going to be pissed. Just remember, you goddamn kids better git offa my lawn!
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