Well, that's it. GM in its desperate attempts to stay above the quicksand is pulling the plug on Pontiac. We are saying goodbye to the brand that brought us the muscle car era as well as the Bandit Car, Monkeemobile, and the soul of Ricardo Montalban's own Stutz Blackhawk.
As much as I love the bitchin' rides brought to us by Pontiac, I realize that the failures of branding were apparent in the Pontiac line. Since 2002 and the demise of the F-Body, Pontiac has been without a flagship. Other than the Aztek, which was the ugliest car ever built, it is hard to actually name a post 2002 Pontiac that means something. GM neglected Pontiac with uninspired designs to the point that the brand just started shriveling up.
That's the shit of the situation, the brand lost its direction and turned into the boring line for GM. Pontiac was the uncle that used to bring a trunk load of illegal fireworks for a kid's 9th birthday, but found Jesus after he got into AA. Pontiac was the 35 year old guy with the cowboy hat and Oakley Razorblades that asked high school juniors if they "liked to party", and then found Jesus after a motorcycle accident.
I guess what really happened is that Pontiac found Jesus. Not the James Brown Church in Blues Brothers Jesus, but the weird cable channel and promise ring Jesus. It went from a vehicle that was very difficult to have sex in, but you would definitely get some with, to vehicles like the Aztek or Montana that if you were driving one, you had plenty of room to screw, but no one would screw you in it.
Gone are the days of Burt Reynolds traveling interstate through the South while being pursued by the Smokeys. Gone are the days of guys with mullets doing cocaine and crashing their Firebirds into the tops of trees. Gone are the days of the brand that really said "America, FUCK YEAH!"
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