Fuck 2009.

Dear God. I hope 2010 is better than 2009. I, along with a lot of other people had a pretty miserable year. I lost a job, along with my identity, self respect and professionalism; and did not find work for 4 months. I took a job which was soul crushing and shitty. I was professionally marginalized and meagerly compensated for pouring a lot of myself into the organization. I was slightly relieved to get laid off, except for the impending doom feeling. I had some medical issues, and I am still trying to get back on the right track.

I am not sure if everyone reading this can empathize, but I know a few can. 2009 was a shit roller coaster, and I think we are all hoping for a new beginning in 2010. Happy New Year.

Theres a storm brewing.

Yeah, thats right. I did something that fit right in my wheel house. No one was surprised. On Saturday, my buddy and I brewed some beer. We like to drink expensive, craft brewed beer, so we took the next step and made our own. Hopefully it comes out well. We went to a place that provided equipment and guidance. WE bought our ticket and took the ride. Right now, we are waiting for it to ferment, so we can go bottle it. My buddy and I chose a Belgian type triple ale, for a few reasons. The first being its relatively high alcohol content. Thats right, the shit will get you drunk. It has twice the octane on traditional american lagers and pilsners like Budweiser or or Coors. Second, it tastes pretty good. It does not taste like Old Dirty Homeless Guy Shoe Ale. Not too hoppy, and not too bitter. It will taste like beer, not like shattered dreams. The experience was pretty good, with the exception of my brewing partner letting the kettle boil over. The brewmasters at the spot were very helpful, and they offer a huge variety of recipes. So, if you are ever wanting to go brew some really awesome beer, get your ass to Gallaghers, Where U Brew. http://www.whereubrew.com/

Suck it Trebek.

Its been too long

Hey there folks. I am sorry I have not posted in a while. I can't use the excuse of being busy, because I lost my job. One business day after I was eligible for benefits. Funny how that works. It almost seems like they might have planned that layoff for a specific period of time. Huh. Three days later I received the invitation to the company Christmas party. Somehow I doubt I will be attending that one. Nice they could do that before the holidays. I do not want any of that pesky disposable income getting in the way of Christmas shopping. It just complicates decisions. Its really the thought that counts.

Now that I have my petty bitching out of the way, I have a serious issue to discuss. Recent tragedies make my horseshit pale in comparison. It has been a week since the execution of four Lakewood Police officers in a coffee shop. The perpetrator has been subsequently killed by a Seattle Police officer.

All of this could have been avoided, had the legal system done its job. Mr. Clemons was serving a 108 year sentence for a series of violent crimes, and Mike Huckabee granted him clemency on his sentence, pretty much because he "found god" and he planned on leaving the state, because he had "job prospects" and family in Washington. Had he stuck with his original crimes of robbery, assault and child rape, Arkansas' plan to get him out of their hair would have been just peachy. He was wanted in Arkansas for another string of crimes on top of the 108 year sentence that was forgiven; but when he was inevitably arrested in Washington for child rape and some other nonsense, Arkansas chose not to extradite. Imagine that. They did not want another low life within their borders. They decided to dump this asshole on Washington. That is about where Mike Huckabee's and Arkansas' responsibility ends. Now that Mr. Clemons was in Washington, a judge allowed him to post bail. Apparently this judge did not read, or did not place any credence in the extensive dossier of legal kerfluffles that Mr. Clemons found himself entangled in. Now, in addition to the failure of this judge, a bondsman posted a bond for Mr. Clemons. The bondsman took a gamble, and now will have egg on his face, if he keeps his business. All of this could have been avoided, had the state of Arkansas not given Mr. Clemons a premature release. If that failed, there were two other stops in place, the judge, and the bondsman. If either of these jokers had done their homework, none of this would have happened. If the judge had looked at the case file for this career criminal, accused of sexually abusing a 12 year old girl in the state of Washington (among other things), and wanted on 8 warrants in Arkansas, and shown some JUDGEMENT, and some judicial common sense by denying bail to this degenerate, 9 kids in Lakewood would still have their parents tonight. This horrible tragedy is an example of a complete and utter failure of the system. Arkansas completely abrogated responsibility for one of its citizens, and a judge glossed over the detailed history of an inveterate criminal. Now four officers who served their community honorably are dead. WE have plenty of laws on the books to prevent this sort of crime from occurring, however, laws are useless if they are not enforced by diligent members of society.

Team Levi

Well, here it goes. I was wrong. The Palins are not helping the Johnstons. In fact, the opposite seems to be true. We have a real barn burner going here. Sarah Vs. Levi. That's whats hot in the streets right now. Levi got himself all churched up and is hitting the circuit. Bringing the fucking pain. He will be throwing some heat towards the Palins and eliminating her chance of running for president. I am surprised there have not been any publicized death threats coming from her legion of slack jawed, as swipe followers.

All kidding aside, this dude is what that shit heel clan fears most. He is the light of day peeping under their rock. He has inside information. Furthermore, he is too dumb to be afraid. He posed nude for Playgirl magazine. His wiener will be public domain. Doubtful he will inspire as much perverted fantasies as a shirtless Taylor Lautner, but he might pick up a stalker or two. (From middle aged gay rodeo enthusiasts as much as teenage girls breaking into their mom's secret porn caches.)

Anyhow, this cat is Sarah's worst nightmare. The camera loves him, most people know he is dumb, but he does not say enough to totally confirm it (short answers would have saved Sarah a lot of grief) so he gets a pass on a lot, plus his intentions are all noble, according to the mainstream media. He just wants to see his kid.

One thing that concerns me is the fact that we have not heard anything of real note from Todd Palin. I mean, this kid knocked up the guy's daughter and gave his wife the media equivalent of a Cleveland Steamer. A real Alaska Man would go into his bedroom closet, get his AR-15 and baseball bat, or maybe his slug gun, drink a pint of Wild Turkey, and go kill the offender. This lack of significant response is kind of suspect, and it leads me to believe that Levi might die in a "Hunting Accident" or be crippled "Snowboarding".

I am sounding the trumpet. For everyone who has a real stake in this, take up the cause! Michael Moore, lend Levi your house guard. Barbara Streisand, get on the phone with the Mossad. Oprah, get your force field machine out of your Favorite Things hangar. Protect Levi.

Washington State: Government Inaction

Here we go again. Another Washington institution shipped out to a flyover state. Boeing was more than happy to send its second production line for the 787 Dreamliner to South Carolina rather than Everett, Washington, which has a long history of building planes. Allegedly, Sen. Patty Murray (D) tried to keep the line in Washington, but her bid was largely ignored. The State of South Carolina put together an attractive incentive package, which included bonds for construction as well as 3rd World style labor pools.

On one hand, I believe that Boeing had its heart set on saying goodbye to the Union Machinists, but I find it hard to believe that the government of Washington tried to hard to keep that plant in the Evergreen State. After the half-assedness of the Save Our Sonics effort, I do think that state and local politicians punted the hell out of this one.

The people who would argue that the savings get passed down to the consumer are completely full of shit. I challenge someone to find airline ticket savings as a result of Boeing's new commitment to Scab Labor. So, it really boils down to corporate greed and a pliable workforce. I have a feeling that the fine people of South Carolina will be so happy to have jobs that the thought of a Machinist Strike will never enter their brains.

The state of South Carolina is also in for a rude surprise. Boeing will use them for all they are worth, and when the labor pool organizes or demands better pay and benefits, Boeing will pack up and ship the plant somewhere else, and South Carolina will be like a trophy wife on the shit end of a pre-nup.

In summary, I think South Carolina made the right moves for South Carolina, bringing in some jobs for their people, and a lot of the country is just thankful that the plant is not in China. For now.

Remember everyone, real jets are made in Washington.

Big Sack of Awesome.

This guy did something awful in a former life. Then he totally redeemed himself, but the gods dicked up the paperwork a little bit. Not enough to fuck him, but enough to give him the short end of the stick in the looking normal department.

Now, I have a pretty strong hypothesis about this cat. From the looks of inspecting his work and seeing his website, he is fairly computer literate. Second; I think he also has a fair amount of disposable income (owning multiple utilikilts is not cheap!). Finally, I get the impression that he came to party. Every photo he is in looks like he is having an awesome time.

The summary of all of this, is that he is the Ayatollah of Nerds. He goes to every convention, role-playing, star wars, comic book, or S&M. (We all know nerds have totally pwned the bondage scene.) He takes pictures of nude and scantily clad women for a living. I am fairly convinced that if you needed to borrow a cup of awesome you could swing by his house. He probably has a 50lb. sack in his pantry. I get the impression that his phone probably has faster internet than 91.8% of the households in America. He just seems dialed in to all of the fun. I imagine that if you went out to dinner with him, he would take you to some hole in the wall that no one knows about, and it turns out to be the best sushi restaurant in the city. He would also act like it was no big deal that you just ate the best unagi hand roll ever made.

I also have another hypothesis. He was not born this awesome. The simple fact is, he has probably been short and portly since he was around 11 years old. He probably got hassled a fair amount, but one day vowed to be so rad that porn stars and Lemmy Kilmister wanted to be his friend on Facebook. Anyhow, check out his blog, you will be impressed by his body of work.

http://photognome.livejournal.com/

Usually I do not do this...

Usually, I do not do this, but I want to give a big shout-out to the Thorp Mall, in Thorp, Washington. Right off of Interstate 90, before you get back into the Cascades to wander back into Pugetropolis, is the scenic town of Thorp. If you are not paying attention, you will miss it, and it will be your loss. The large, barn-like structure houses a fruit stand on HGH. They have seasonal fruit and vegetables from local growers, as well as a selection of wines from local vineyards. I was thoroughly impressed. If you are driving over the mountains, do yourself a favor and stop there.

I think this is also a good indicator of the way Eastern Washington is going. They are getting their shit together. The viticulture is flourishing, and that brings a lot of folks in to experience what the place has to offer. What gives it another star is the wine country is located in a very productive agricultural area. This gives the place access to the freshest meat and produce, thereby producing truly awesome local pairings. Enjoy!

No shit Sweden.

Wow. I just turned over a leaf and saw the nexus. Although I am usually a big proponent of many things Scandinavian, I recently discovered thelocal.se . This particular rag is Sweden's online English newspaper. Talk about some really, really hard hitting journalism. When I perused it, I was whacked in the head by the obvious bat. What bothers me is not stupid "journalism" , but the fact that it came from Sweden. I am just disappointed. I expected better from Sweden. Usually they are serious and progressive, world leaders in human rights and responsible industry, but this newspaper had the the great story of "Popular kids become healthier adults". Really Sweden? Are you fucking kidding me? No shit. I think if we all connected the dots, we would come to that conclusion. Generally popularity does not involve sickliness, and kids who get shit on generally have a hard time with life, which leads to some issues.

Another Pulitzer candidate is "Young men at greater risk for alcohol dependence". Wow. Thanks. I could not figure that shit out. Goddamn, if you are in a culture where swilling beer is as cool as it is everywhere but goddamn Utah, of course that is going to happen. Dudes practice that. If this is coming as a surprise to you, you ought to crawl out from under your rock and let the light of day shine into your sad little world.

I just don't know. I thought the US had the franchise on silly, obvious shit, but I was wrong.

Sweden, straighten your shit up.

fessin' up.

I admit it. I confess. I think I am starting to find a pigeonhole. At one point, I thought I was special. I thought I was unique. Now I realize I am dead wrong. I play board games. I have a twitter account. I drink craft beer in 22 oz. bottles and scorn those who drink regular, cheap, lagers and pilsners. I am part of the Northwest Counter Culture Trash. I own multiple guns, but I voted for Obama. I work on my own vehicles because it is cool. I have a subscription to Wired magazine although I am not terribly on the ball when it comes to computers. I am in my own little world, surrounded by people who think and act very similarly to me. None of us will set foot in a Wal Mart, but we have no problem playing on a Wii built by 12 year old Chinese kids. We bitch about all the hormones in beef, but we eat sushi loaded with mercury. We like little projects and hacks for iPods. None of us will drink Folger's Coffee. I dunno, it is cultural elitism at its worst. We like to judge how other people raise their kids, but we do not have kids of our own. We are the young, angry, liberal douchebags who will inherit the country, and inflict our will on the McCain voters. We are Barack Obama's base. The kinda haves and the wish they hads.

Fuck it. Now that is off my chest, I am going to drink another craft beer and check out best of Craigslist.

you got to be fucking kidding me.

I like how the right uses the British house of commons as an excuse for poor behavior. Yelling at the president of the United States, on the floor of the house is a punishable offense. If these low lifers wanted to emulate the house of commons, how about passing a viable health care bill and ensuring the general welfare of the populace? How about public service as opposed to representing the most whacked out portions of the constituency?

Now, the Right Honorable Member of Congress Wilson's excuse was that his outburst was spontaneous. That is absolute bullshit. The audience received copies of the speech prior to the actual speech. He had a chance to go through and pick a point to disrupt the president of the United States. If a democrat had done that during Bush's regime, he would have swung from the gallows tree. Now, the networks allow it to distract from the entire debate and cheapen the whole argument. Regardless of what side you are on, you deserve a fair crack at the actual information. You deserve an honest helping of what is actually taking place, rather than a goddamn sideshow from a clown like the Right Honourable Representative from South Carolina; Joe Wilson.

Punisher 2: War Zone

The first Punisher movie (actually the second) starring Tom Jane was crap. Just the sheer fact that it had ol' Saturday Night Fever in it made it suck even more. It seems that the franchise has a new lease on life with some perennial premium cable favorites. Rome's Ray Stevenson and The Wire's Dominic West (both also british) bring the pain. Dexter's love interest Julie Benz does a very believable job of acting the grieving cop wife as well. Ray Stevenson does not say a goddamn word for the first part of the movie, and Dominic West's big bag of crazy make this a really, really fun shoot 'em up. The plot is not particularly complex, but it brings a healthy dose of gun porn and some great explosions. The villain is actually kinda scary, and the united nations of gangs bring a nice element of progressive multiculturalism to the movie. The main thing it has going for it however; is no John Travolta. That big headed space boy is nowhere to be found with his Zoolander brand of acting. They achieved more with underrated HBO stiffs than the first one did with big budget goon John Travolta. The sociopathic gangsters and Stevenson captured a lot more of the original darkness with their inherent grit. I think that is the beauty of premium cable as well, (not that I have it, but I like the idea), it opens our eyes to dudes like Ray Stevenson and Dominic West, who would have languished in obscurity had it not been for the wily folks at those networks that use bad language. Anyhow, see the movie if you like violent films.

Health Care

The republicans have hit an all time low, accusing senate and congressional democrats, as well as progressives all over the country of capitalizing on Senator Kennedy's death. Now, correct me if I am wrong, but, Teddy would be super pissed if people did not use his passing to help usher in some goddamn change. Ted would tell us to strike while the iron was hot, in the parlance of his time. Make hay while the sun shines, jackass.

If something does not give in the current system, it will be just another nail in the coffin of the American Middle Class. Now, whoever might be reading this blog (Mom) might say "hey shithead, what about the poor people?" I say this; regardless of what happens, there will always be some poor people in America. Their numbers may shrink, or in the case of the last 8 years, rapidly swell, but, poverty will always exist in America. Poor folks are in no danger of extinction. Sure it makes everyone feel all warm and fuzzy to give poor people stuff, and we are morally obligated to help out the less fortunate, but, we also have to look out for the people that built America. The class in danger of extinction is the middle class. They are like the African elephant. OK for now, but if things take a turn for the worse, they are rat fucked.

Now, I am not anti poor people, and I am all for decreasing their ranks and elevating as many people as we can to an acceptable standard of living. Prior to the advent of Ronald Reagan, and neo-conservatism, we had hunger and third world poverty backed into a corner, ready to get stuck with the proverbial ice pick. We did not do this through private sector, free market fairy tales, but through the hard work of Americans, and a healthy dose of tax ducats.

When the undesirable elements of our establishment bitch about government programs, I think they forget what the alternatives are, (and if there are alternatives). Yeah, the postal service might have some issues, but, it is everywhere, and it works pretty well. Where else can you send a letter to any American soil for a 10th of the cost of a mocha frappucino. Also, Social Security works pretty well, as long as people do not steal out of it to wage war somewhere hot and shitty. Compared to wagering your life savings on a volatile pyramid scheme like the stock market, it looks pretty enticing.

One big thing they forget is Medicare and Medicaid. Those are government programs, and if your average geriatric republican was stripped of said programs, they would shit their Depends. Again. And twice on Sundays.

Next time one of these selfish jerk waters tries to say we do not need universal coverage, and the system is fine, hit them with a sucker punch in the mouth. When they fall to the ground, kick them handsomely in the ribs. Then announce confidently "Imagine how bad this would be without health insurance." Then tell them good luck with getting the emergency treatment paid for through their existing coverage.

Back in the Saddle AGAIN!!!

Ron Mexico is back! After a stint in the clink for killing dogs and making money from it, Michael Vick signed a 1.6 million dollar contract for the first year, with an option for a second year at 5.2 million. Now, my hypothesis is fairly simple. Mike Vick had almost two years to train and recuperate from years of physical issues, so as long as he has not lost his step, he should be back in the action in no time.

The only kicker is that despite any success he has on the field, he is still morally reprehensible. His actions are inexcusable and unforgivable. He might have learned his lesson, but there are still people out there fighting dogs. Michael Vick will never do it again. He had something to lose. The individuals still out there continuing this awful contest are less likely to quit, because they really don't have all that much to lose like Mike Vick. In addition, I do not think Mr. Vick's incarceration really taught anyone who might be inclined to participate in dog fighting that much. It seems to be that they "chalk it up to the game", because possible incarceration is a cost of doing business in the circles associated with dog fighting. I am not so sure that there was a major change as a result of his indiscretions. It seems like it brought awareness to a shady part of Americana, but eventually polarized people along socio-economic lines. I just feel sorry for all of the animals who suffered under the hand of Vick and his co conspirators.

Really been a while...

Good evening folks. I caught a wild hair and decided to blog tonight.

In any event, I just got back from Nome, AK. It was everything I hoped and dreamed it would be. Nome is pretty much how I think Azerbaijan or Kazakhstan is supposed to be; low water pressure, lots of dust and limited goods and services. Nome, however does not have bactrian camels that I know of.

The weather was pretty good, but there were a few hiccups in the trip. The water heater went out within 2.5 days of getting there, so there were a few days without showers.

Things came down all of a sudden though, my truck broke down, my wife hurt her knee, I had to go to Nome, and my cousin died all within a week. Things were busy. I feel pretty terrible about not being able to go to my cousin's memorial service, due to geographic restrictions. Thats the kicker. Lots of people think that Alaska is just up the freeway from seattle, and they do not realize that a large portion of the state is closer to Siberia than King County. Bush Alaska is not just a jaunt, it is a journey, and one that can lead to a lot of waiting around. I was fortunate enough to be going to the county seat of the middle of nowhere, so my flights were in and aout of Anchorage like clockwork.

All in all, it was a decent experience, and it is another pushpin on my map of alaska.

been a while

Well, the recession is finally over, I am gainfully employed, and less able to devote copious amounts of time to entertaining all of my loyal readers. Anyhow, I have the weekend off, so I will try to brew up something special.

Swine Flu

As most of us predicted, the swine flu was a flash in the pan. More people die from regular ass flu than swine flu. It just happened to have a scary name and occur during Obama's 100 day mark, thus provoking a joke. It was also a convenient excuse to trash on Mexico, and promote paranoia about our southern neighbor.  (I mean with pandemics, drug wars, and other shenanigans, who can resist?) The real issue at hand is how our media latches on to some silly shit and spreads it around like wildfire, and Internet conspiracy theorists link it to "Obama trying to bring an Africa style pandemic to the US".  Wonderful. Idiots everywhere. 260 people in America have it, and one kid died. It was tragic that a toddler died from this, but 1 death in 260 from a pandemic is a pretty decent record.  Anyway, continue washing your hands and sneezing into your elbow, and the next big crisis will be along shortly.

digital transition

Its coming up quick folks. The digital transition is beating down our door and we must be prepared for it. If you are already a cable subscriber, fear not; the cable company has you covered. If you are using regular bunny ears, you probably don't care anyway and are hosed. 

The truth of the matter is that a lot of people might be better off if their TV went away. I know, that since paring down my cable to basically network TV and discovery channel, I have been reading more, corresponding more, and getting outside more. I am not TV free, but, the constant stream of stupid from the waves of the idiot box are affecting me less. (Probably not reflected in my blog) 

In any event, this is one of the death throes of television as a medium. It is also a sign of socioeconomic stratification. People without broadband Internet access and a certain level of literacy are being left behind. If you cannot fire up the Internet or effectively derive meaning from a newspaper, your news and knowledge of the world dies if you do not update your TV antenna.

Corporations are running scared. The popular advertising outlet in many homes dies with the new digital signal. This means that they had to go out and convince the government to subsidize many boxes for people who could not afford them, because, unlike freedom, or education, or health care, television is a god given, inalienable right. The only hitch is that the government did not subsidize enough, and that people who could afford to upgrade their equipment snarfled up more than their fair share of the coupons. Imagine that. Greed. Imagine how pissed the major advertising buyers would be, that instead of giving people coupons for TV descramblers, we gave them subscriptions to Time, Newsweek, Mother Jones, Wired, or some other magazine that does not talk about the statutory relationships of Miley Cyrus. Holy jeez, we would be in for a shit show. 

 

I would like to believe that this could be an awakening, where the hypnotized masses throw off their shackles and join the experiment of democracy. I would like to believe that people will turn off their phased out TVs and pick up newspapers or read the news on the Internet, but I doubt that will happen. The folks who cannot afford cable or upgraded descrambler boxes are the same folks who have been marginalized for decades now, will continue to be marginalized in America.  

goodbye pontiac :(

Well, that's it. GM in its desperate attempts to stay above the quicksand is pulling the plug on Pontiac. We are saying goodbye to the brand that brought us the muscle car era as well as the Bandit Car, Monkeemobile, and the soul of Ricardo Montalban's own Stutz Blackhawk. 

As much as I love the bitchin' rides brought to us by Pontiac, I realize that the failures of branding were apparent in the Pontiac line.  Since 2002 and the demise of the F-Body, Pontiac has been without a flagship.  Other than the Aztek, which was the ugliest car ever built, it is hard to actually name a post 2002 Pontiac that means something. GM neglected Pontiac with uninspired designs to the point that the brand just started shriveling up. 

That's the shit of the situation, the brand lost its direction and turned into the boring line for GM. Pontiac was the uncle that used to bring a trunk load of illegal fireworks for a kid's 9th birthday, but found Jesus after he got into AA.  Pontiac was the 35 year old guy with the cowboy hat and Oakley Razorblades that asked high school juniors if they "liked to party", and then found Jesus after a motorcycle accident.

I guess what really happened is that Pontiac found Jesus. Not the James Brown Church in Blues Brothers Jesus, but the weird cable channel and promise ring Jesus.  It went from a vehicle that was very difficult to have sex in, but you would definitely get some with, to vehicles like the Aztek or Montana that if you were driving one, you had plenty of room to screw, but no one would screw you in it.

Gone are the days of Burt Reynolds traveling interstate through the South while being pursued by the Smokeys. Gone are the days of guys with mullets doing cocaine and crashing their Firebirds into the tops of trees. Gone are the days of the brand that really said "America, FUCK YEAH!"

Complete Disgrace

In recent news, the case of a 13 year old girl being strip searched has reached the high courts. In 2003 school authorities detained and strip searched 13 year old Savanna Redding on the suspicion of her posessing ibuprofen. Thats right folks, you can be arrested and strip searched in an Arizona school for probable cause of posession for a perfectly legal anti-inflammatory. 

This strip search of a 13 year old girl went beyond bad judgement and into to the realm of criminal negligence. If a minor has to be accompanied by a parent to speak to police, how is it that school authorities can detain and strip search a child without parental consent? 

This is also a case of coersion of a child by an authority figure.  That particular crime is morally reprhensible. child coercion is the stock and trade of pederasts and other such troglodytes. Using ones authority to undress a teenage girl is usually punished by 3-5 years state time and a profile on the social networking site "Megan's Law" or a promotion in the Fundamentalist Mormon church. 

This also goes deeper than being an asshole that pushes kids around. It is modern post-Columbine, Post- 9/11 snitch and police state thought. We are so afraid of the possibility of harm coming to our society that we hand over our rights like they were over due library books.  The fact that this even made it into the school rules is a pretty sad commentary on our society.  Hopefully the supreme court rules the right way and issues a severe opinion on strip searches.

ARGHHHH! Thar Be Pirates!!!

In recent news, Captain Richard Phillips was released by Somali pirates.  These pirates apparently did not want to die immediately. They were under the gun from the USS Bainbridge, and had Captain Phillips been killed, their lives would have been forfeit.

The American Merchant Marine has a long history of dealing with some pretty severe circumstances, from blockade running to avoiding U Boats during WWII.  During WWII the US Merchant Marine had casualty rates second only to the Marine Corps.

The following link gives piracy reports worldwide:  http://www.icc-ccs.org/index.php?option=com_fabrik&view=table&tableid=26&calculations=0&Itemid=82

Somalia is a very poor country. We all know that. We have seen Blackhawk Down and the news during the late 90’s.  This is one of the things that make piracy an attractive career. Have machete, will travel. Most of the times Somali pirates are just take ship’s cash or valuables.  Recent trends indicate however, that piracy groups are starting to work with Islamist militant groups in the region. We have to remember that the particular part of East Africa is in constant turmoil, and poverty, and thus is extremely susceptible to radical influence. It will come as little surprise when someone is attacked by Somalian Jihadis.

Now, congratulations to the crew of the Maersk Alabama. They were courageous in defending the vessel, and deserve to be lauded for their labors.  Hopefully Captain Richards will see some paid vacation or financial reward for his hardship.

This story goes to an important point, the benefits of flag. The issue here is that the US Merchant Marine is under the American Flag. That flag carries with it the protection of the United States Navy.  So, Somali pirates who might be reading my blog, don’t fuck with the US Merchant Marine. You were unsuccessful at taking a middle aged man from New England hostage. You might want to think of a new line of work.

Facebook Elitism

Besides the general state of the world, my neighborhood, and my country, one of the things that concern me is the state of my internet. By my internet, I mean the part that I routinely loiter in. It is my neighborhood. In MY neighborhood, particularly the block I call Facebook, I do not want certain undesirables.   

You should not use Facebook if you meet any of the following criteria:

 Under 18.

1. Had a kid before graduating HS.
2. Post Emo “Selfpics”.
3. Appear alone in webcam pics.
4. Have a state ID card instead of a drivers license (unless in the case of disability)
5. Use methamphetamines.
6. Already have a profile…on the Megan’s Law website.
7. Your profile picture has a Sears portrait studio background.

 Facebook is a place for people between the ages of 19 and 37. No more. No less. The standards ought to be fairly straightforward. Facebook is a serious part of the land known as the internet. It is a place where people connect with people that they have not seen in a really long time, work with, or some actual friends.  It is not a place for psychotic moms to convince other people’s kids to kill themselves.

Facebook is a place to show your pictures of your vacation to Costa Rica, you and your friends wearing your soccer scarves, or pictures of people of legal age imbibing way too much alcohol. Pink and black backgrounds with AFI music playing are not welcome.

 Call me an elitist, call me a jerk, but if I have to come out of my ivory tower, I am going to be pissed. Just remember, you goddamn kids better git offa my lawn!

Shifting Gears

Hi Everybody! 

Lately I have been on a kick of national and international news events on my blog. As if anyone ever reads it.  In any event, there is a lot happening locally that needs my attention. Construction on I-5, layoffs at Boeing and Microsoft, poorly behaved dogs in my building, nocturnal fire drills in my building, poorly behaved dogs at the dog park, etc. All sorts of fun stuff. 

I think I am going to go after something near and dear to my heart. Public decency. I am not talking about public nudity, or saying bad words, I am talking about the rotten miscreant that pulled the fire alarm at 0208 on Monday morning.  Not only is this illegal, but it trains residents of said building not to trust the fire alarm. We have already had nocturnal alarm malfunctions, we do not need malicious mischief. 

As a person trained in fire safety, I always respond to an alarm. I evacuate or investigate, depending on my capacity at the time.  People in my building do not share the same paradigm on fire safety. Several people I spoke with said they are not going to leave next time an alarm goes off. I told them to evacuate whenever an alarm is heard, but 3 night time false alarms has enorced negative reactions to a serious subject.  Fires can and do happen. Responding to a false alarm can leave you an hour shy on sleep the next day, but not responding to an alarm can leave you dead. 

Now, back the subject of the rotten son of a bitch that pulled the alarm. I know you were probably drunk and thought it was a funny idea, but with the number of people you inconvenienced and terrified, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.  Eroding community trust is not a particularly noble claim to infamy. I hope you learned your lesson. Pissing off hundreds of people by being a childish jackass is not something you want to put on your resume. I hope you get caught.

Polygamy, Big Love

In the theocracy we know as the State of Utah, there is a group fighting for their rights. They are not fighting for gay marriage, or same sex unions, but plural marriage, a practice that was banned in the United States in order for Utah to attain statehood.

In any event, a group of fundamentalist Mormons wants to reinstate the legal practice of polygamy, which operates in a legal gray area.  As long as they do not engage in child marriage or sexual abuse of minors, the "authorities" will not prosecute. Ric Cantrell and Mark Shurtleff have decriminalized polygamy in Utah.  

Now, another twist in the scenario is the fact that certain groups in British Columbia have been pushing to legalize plural marriage. It is not just fundamentalist Mormons, but also fundamentalist Muslims pushing for this new protection.

The question we have to ask ourselves, is why, in Western Society, should we tolerate this. Not from a moral perspective, but from a fairness perspective. Especially where taxes and services are concerned. If a man is married to 3 women, and he has children with all of them, what are the odds that he will have an appropriate tax burden to pay for the services that his offspring consume? Even if they go to home school, they are using our roads, our parks, and our libraries. The odds of a religious fundamentalist like these individuals paying enough into the system to defray the cost of their procreation is slim at best. This really goes in the face of same sex couples who can't even get on each other's insurance in a lot of states. (most of them don't have kids to suck up public services) Or even unmarried men and women. 

This is a preposterous notion, just because a state does not have the resources to prosecute people who scoff their laws does not mean that we should allow this practice. 

Mexico

In recent news, Mexico is having an internal war. This is a war about drugs. It is a war about who gets to sell drugs into the United States. In order to have a good war, you need guns. Guns are not legal in Mexico, so only the bad guys and the "military" have them (bad guys are often and the military are not always mutually exclusive in the 3rd world). The firepower it takes to have a serious drug war though, is allegedly available in the United States, across the border in Arizona and Texas. One only needs an Alien Firearm Registration to purchase a gun in those states. 

The powers that be in Mexico are throwing a fit because the guns are finding their way across the border and into the hands of the Narcos. Sounds like Mexico needs to step up its border procedures. The answer is not to restrict fire arms sales to American Citizens. That is an abrogation of our rights. 

Mexico needs to get its shit together. I believe it is a sign of naivete or willful disregard on the part of the Mexican government when narcotics traffickers can field armies of 100,000 troops.

I understand that the US has an insatiable appetite for drugs, and if there was no demand, this would not be a problem, but 80% of the worlds commodities are traded every day without violence, so honestly folks, find a better way. 

In a nation where 800 people a day flee the country illegally, is it any wonder that sectors of the population are turning to the transportation and production of illegal substances? Especially when the economy in said nation is less than stellar? 

Now, there is a way that us Americans can affect the situation, and it does not involve violence or curtailing our rights as citizens. It is fairly simple. Buy organic, fair trade, or locally produced drugs. As consumers, we have a choice. Speak with your wallet. 

All kidding aside, banning American guns will be a drop in the bucket. First of all, if you are running a major drug pipeline, I assume you could probably find a way to buy guns from arms dealers who deal in quantity. You might even be able to cut down your overhead if you bought directly from the underemployed military officials in former Soviet satellite nations. 

The simple fact of the matter is if Mexico wants to get a handle on this, the demand for drugs will have to be reduced and the Mexican Government will have to take responsibility for its interior affairs. 

If we simply banned our firearms on the whimsy of some questionably stable Latin American government, we would be spitting in the face of American tradition. Americans do not enact restrictive legislation because Mexico tells us to. In addition, if we quit selling guns to Mexican citizens, they would be in an uproar about their civil rights in the US. 

Mexico has a unique symbiotic relationship with the US. Without the US buying its oil and products, and without the capital sent into the country by its American diaspora, Mexico would have a hell of a hard time functioning. 

Mexico also has another factor to remember. They are Mexico. We are the United States. We call the shots in this hemisphere, and it is awfully presumptuous to think that they can just boss us around. Especially with their complete lack of leverage. If we actually shut our borders to illegal aliens, this would lead to a revolution in Mexico. Illegal immigration is a safety valve for Latin America. If your poor and unemployed go somewhere else, they are less likely to start a Marxist revolution and upset your crooked little apple cart.

What I am baffled by is the fact that they are trying to blame us for this whole mess, when a plurality of the Mexican government is on the payroll of the Narcos. Honestly, when you quit taking the suitcases of hundred dollar bills, from the back of a 1992 Ford Bronco in the middle of the desert at midnight, we might take you a little more seriously.

Now, I have an offer for Felipe Calderon, the "President" of Mexico. Pay attention. Quit sending illegal aliens into the US, and we will quit sending guns to Mexico. 

No knee jerk reaction is going to solve this problem.

Crazy Dick

The master of disaster is at it again. Instead of riding into the sunset with his ill-gotten gains, Dick Cheney is now granting interviews. To the media. This is the least popular vice president ever. He is also one of the chief architect in the disaster that we call the Iraq War. 

In his interview with CNN, Former VP Cheney said "No, Rush is a good friend. I love him. I think he does great work and has for years. He's now offered to debate President Obama on his radio show. Hell, I'd pay to see that! It would be interesting to have developed." 

This just goes to show us how little Cheney cares about the United States and the obligations of office.  For a sitting US president to acknowledge a drug-addled miscreant like Limbaugh would be a serious breach in decorum. Now, imagine if the tables were turned, and Rachel Maddow wanted to debate former President Bush when he was in office. Cheney would say some really unpleasant things.

On a certain level, I respect Dick Cheney. His dedication to greed and complete disregard for national welfare show a level of commitment to personal enrichment unparalleled in government.

Even Bernard Madoff, the most prolific thief and con man of the new millennium felt bad about what he did. Mr. Cheney has no regrets. He is the most powerful vice president in American History, and one of the most despicable men in American Politics. 

Now, with his host of failures behind him, he attempts to stand out as an elder statesman and someone that we should listen to, granting sage advice to the American people on prime time. He is a powerful obstructionist, and the American people might start lending him credence, the further we get from his regime. This kind of scenario clings to the old mantra of "Never Forget". The kicker of the situation, is that although the dangerous forces are at bay, and the republican party is in shambles, there are some really sick people working behind the scenes, and I seriously doubt we have seen the last of Dick Cheney.

On the mend?

Although the Dow Jones Industrial Average is not exactly a terrific indicator of the overall strength of the economy, it is a generally accepted good thing when it goes up. Today that fat bastard went up a whole 3.91 points. 100 miles an hour with our hair on fire. Anywho, it is better than nothing. I would rather hear about the DJIA than that silly woman with the litter of babies. 

I am not going to go out and say the stim-pack is responsible for this, but the possibility of a brighter future might be a factor. Even though there is a huge gap between Wall Street and Main Street, America likes to see a healthy measure of trading volume, and this might be what it takes for some of the rich who actually have liquid assets to start moving them around, thereby generating wealth. That would be nice to see. 

What would be nicer to see is a slowdown or stop to the rising unemployment rate, and more Americans going back to work. That is a tough deal, because unemployment rates follow the back end of the stock market, people who are involved in that kind of stuff like to make their money before they put anyone back to work.

Or I could be totally full of it, and things will start their trek downward again tomorrow. 

Hot Damn

Kudos to Gov. Gregoire. She just allocated some money to fix some state roads. 341 Million Dollars. I know it is a drop in the bucket compared to what it would take to get Washington's roads up to snuff with actual American Highway standards, but it is better than nothing.  The detioration of the roads and highways in the Evergreen State is deplorable.

The good news is that this bill will improve some roads and streets, and create some jobs in the mean time.  It will mean inconvenient construction, but everytime I smell road tar, I think that it smells like money!

The infrastructure in the state is crumbling, and the plans to fix it are fairly short. No one has a viable solution to the viaduct problem, and the potholes grow every day.  This is only a small step in the right direction. 

KFC Shenanigans

This is the funniest thing I have ever heard on the radio. It is also an example of gullibility, failure to follow manufacturers instruction and blind faith.

In Manchester New Hampshire, a call was received at the local KFC. The caller identified themselves as a senior operations vice president and instructed the manager of the restaurant to discharge the dry chemical fixed fire fighting system as a drill. The manager of the store proceeded to follow the callers instructions. Next, the caller instructed the manager to evacuate the store and proceed to strip naked in the parking lot. The workers and patrons complied. (Early March in NH, got to be cold.) Next the caller instructed the manager to have the patrons and workers urinate on each other to detox after the dry-chemical dusting. This is where reports get fuzzy. Some reports say that the individuals peed on each other, and other reports say that this is where the jig was up. I choose to believe the former. 

Police and firefighters arrived on the scene and the workers were taken to the hospital for treatment. Needless to say, the victims of the prank were unavailable for comment. 

Now, exposing people to hazardous chemicals is a terrible thing to do, but honestly folks, there are warning labels on the fixed fire fighting apparatus that say to only discharge in an emergency. They are there for a reason. Also, when someone asks you to do something dangerous and possibly illegal, one ought to ask a few questions. This is a case of someone doing something clearly wrong (the caller) and a lack of moral courage to question a seriously stupid directive.  Did any bells ring when the caller asked to dump the fire extinguishers, did it come into any one's mind that those systems are inspected and tested periodically by licensed individuals? I feel bad for the people that were injured, and I think the prank caller is a dick, but this should teach us all a lesson. Verify identity before you do something you will regret.

The Face and Brain of the New GOP

Congratulations GOP. You have been hovering around the bottom for a couple of years, and now you have finally found it. Your heart and soul is embodied by a man so vile that Pat Robertson thought he should shut his noise hole. Rush Limbaugh was the obtuse herald of the Neocon Revolution that flew in the face of one of the greatest periods of prosperity America ever had. 

Now he is being an obstructionist to the rebuilding of America. 

Last time I checked, Rush Limbaugh was the guy that abused opiate based painkillers and went deaf, requiring cochlear implants that he wears to this day. 

He has been married 3 times, and was caught attempting to smuggle Viagra out of the Dominican Republic where he went for sex tourism. 

Although he is regarded as one of the greatest radio talk show hosts of all time, my question to the right wingers is this: Do you think you should trust a guy who flunked out of college after his freshman year and could not pass a ballroom dancing class? He did get a letter from former president Ronald Readan when Clinton vanquished incumbent Poppy Bush. Reagan congratulated him for all he had done for the conservative cause. Reagan was also hip deep in Alzheimers and HW lost. Great job Rush.  

The kicker is that there are a lot of people who take this tool very seriously. These allegedly "moral" conservatives take policy advice from tarnished soul criminals like Limbaugh and Karl Rove. I don't know, apparently, anger, petty greed, hatred and hypocrisy really strike a chord with folks.

My 2 Cents

Like every other American, I have an opinion regarding our latest idiot. I am not talking about Piyush "Bobby" Jindal. I am talking about another individual with questionable judgement, the much talked about Nadya Suleman. 

It was not long ago that some other crank decided to have a litter of babies with the aid of some serious hormones and modern technology. The difference was, that the other cranks had a home and two parents and were not quite as crazy as Ms. Suleman.  

Now, an organization known to many satisfied customers for its production of fine adult features has made Ms. Suleman an offer that she should not refuse. 1 million dollars and a year of health care for her and her 14 kids. The only hitch is that she has to perform in one of their fine adult pictures. They will even let her pick the person she performs with. The clownstain definitely has an opinion on this hot mess. I personally think that the house that Jenna built is low balling Ms. Suleman. Vivid can do better than that. Their annual revenue is in excess of 100 Million dollars. I personally believe that Ms. Suleman ought to go to the bargaining table with Vivid and strike a deal. I do not see anyone else coming up with that kind of offer. 

 The health care alone has to top a million bucks in the first year of those poor children's lives, and at least it will get them through the year. It will also save the taxpayers of California a lot of money.

Another twist in this morbid piece of Americana is Pink Visual, a San Fernando based outfit (imagine that) is offering Nadya diapers to not be in the porn movie. That is a choice. Something that individuals shit in, or a wheelbarrow load of money and health care.  A years worth of diapers is a baby shower gift. Any mom would be excited about that. A million dollar offer would make a grown man need a diaper. Pink Visual did not have to do anything, but, in the world that we live in, no one likes small ball.

The serious issue here is the kind of parenting Ms. Suleman has chosen to engage in. She already had sextuplets. Half of her previous brood have serious developmental issues, and I expect the second batch to have some problems as well. Ms. Suleman chose to bring 14 children into the world with no visible means of support and no father for the children. I really feel for the children, because, the ones who do not come out autistic will have to live with the fact that they were the product of a whole lot of crazy and some ass hole's science project. 

This lady really creeps me out. Where does she get off thinking she can raise 6 kids with no dad, no income and no house? Then she goes and drops 8 more? The doctor who did this ought to be strung up. Or at least horsewhipped and stripped of his license. Talk about irresponsible, enabling someone who is bat shit nuts to procreate to a completely unhealthy level is morally reprehensible. This lady is too crazy to have one kid, much less 14.

2012 Republican Candidate for President

Alright, everybody focus. The 2012 Republican ticket will most likely include Bobby Jindal, the Esteemed Leader of the Free Democratic Republic of Louisiana. He has an actual education and is currently building political capital by picking and choosing which parts of the stimulus package he will accept. Being that he is in one of the 3rd world states, he ought to take all of the money, because we all know that LA. does not have its books in order. 

Anyhow, here is a guy that converted from Hinduism to Catholicism and loves to pander to the snake-touching churches in 3rd world America. The conservatives will love this dude. He hates women's rights to choose, and he loves guns, and the scariest part is that he can read and has built his whole movement on being an intellectual. He actually provides leadership and direction for the Free Democratic Republic of Louisiana and he is accomplishing some neglected tasks in the bayou.  Watch out for Piyush!

Chris Brown is a jackass.

Recently R&B "artist" Chris Brown was involved in an altercation with his girlfriend Rihanna over some car keys. The initial report sounded like a fairly standard urban music scuffle, the kind we are not unnaccustomed to hearing about. Little did we know that it was not just an altercation, but a fairly severe beating to a beautiful and talented young woman.  There are pictures to prove it.  Ike Turner would have been proud, but I doubt young Mr. Brown's mother would be. 

Now, this was pretty run of the mill until the photos from the LAPD leaked and the American public saw the severity of Mr. Brown's handiwork on Ms. Fenty. 

Now, we do not know all the details of the incident, but, Mr. Brown is already guilty in the court of public opinion, and this will probably not help his bubble-gum reputation, nor will his bubble gum pop reputation help if he tries to spin this like he is "gangsta".

Now, what we are really dealing with is an assymmetrical relationship. Rihanna is well marketed, talented, and something kind of new, whereas Chris Brown is something we have seen and heard for years. Nothing original there. I have a strong feeling Rihanna's career will last longer than Mr. Brown's. In 8 years he will be a fairly short interview on Behind The Music.

Bad Cartoon. Bad Taste.

Over the course of the election, the full blown racists in this country have had a field day. Comparing our first black president to a monkey is just beyond the pale. The kind of crap that Sarah Palin stirred up with these idiots just enforces their inappropriate behavior.  These individuals who allegedly claim to be the party for values are not doing a very good job teaching these values by encouraging this kind of disgraceful crap.

Although the NY Post is a rag, it is a widely circulated rag. 

In the United States, differing views and public discourse are a part of our political system. Disagreeing is fine. Making monkey references about an African American is just plain inappropriate. It goes through some really antebellum references that were part of the rhetoric of a disgraceful chapter in American History. 

Now some may argue that W was referenced as a monkey and "Uncurious George", but speaking as a thoroughly white individual, I know that it is just different. It is the difference between the "N" Word and being called a cracker. Or a honky. Sure being called a cracker or a honky by a black person is not nice, but calling black people the "N" Word strikes a whole different chord. The rules are simply different for this sort of thing. 

One of the problems though is the way the media has handled it. They immediately went to Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton for commentary on this, knowing that Mr. Jackson and Mr. Sharpton would love to comment on the situation, and would definitley provide some decent material. Now, all kidding aside, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton have done a lot of good work, and they are real leaders, but folks have quit taking them seriously (The NY Post has done a pretty good job of besmirching their collective character!)  As soon as Jackson and Sharpton arrive on the scene, a lot of people tune it out; mostly due to Sharpton and Jackson's reputation as racial agitators.

 Although I do not neccessarily agree with everything Sharpton and Jackson have to say, they are right. This is an inappropriate reference that hits a lot of hot buttons. It is not something one would expect in a major newspaper, more like a newsletter circulated by the Klan. 

The kicker is that the "management" of this paper are not issuing an apology of any sort. They are defending their cartoon. If they had half a brain, they would apologize for inadvertent racism and try to move on. Instead, they are pretending that they did not do a damn thing wrong. 

I almost believe the defense of inadvertent racism, because the fact is that they seem like a pretty thoughtless bunch. Even if they were not being bigoted jerks, they really showed their unforgiveable lack of class. 

KA-CHOW!

Thank you Jeebus! After several dry days of soft targets and other nonsense, I finally got something juicy. Bristol Palin has opened her mouth to ol' Skidmark Van Susteren and let everyone know that abstinence is "not realistic".  Its about time one of these nincompoops said something.  I bet her bat-shit crazy mother is a little miffed about the whole interview and the fact that it refutes a key part of her conservative christian worldview. 

Now, all kidding aside, what Bristol Palin might or might not have been forced to do needs some recognition, having a child is something scary and difficult, even with all the support and infrastructure she has. In addition, the media coverage is not something that an expecting teen mother needs.  On one hand I feel sorry for her having to deal with all the horse shit that has come her way, and on the other, she has a lot of advantages that most teen mothers could not dream of.

What took real courage was stepping away from her mother's abstinence only party line. She showed some actual moral courage that came from a hard lesson. This could possibly be a step in the right direction to preventing unwanted teen pregnancy. It is not just an after school special, it is a piece of reality when someone that young breaks from their crazy mom's paradigm and goes on the record with that information.

One potentially troubling piece of information is that this kid has absolutely no shot at a normal life. He was born to teen parents and there will definitely be some drama from the grandparents. On one side is the Palin Clan, who have a reputation for being insane, then there is his grandma Johnston, who allegedly sells Oxycontin to undercover cops in parking lots. In any event, the child will get plenty of support and attention from a lot of really crazy people, and who knows, the Palins may just help out the in laws and pull some strings for Mama Johnston, (she already got a real lawyer!) 

In summary, kudos to Bristol for speaking some truth about the silliness of abstinence only. It did not work out too well for you.

Soft Targets

How 'bout it? Two holidays within a week. Saturday we had a big fat valentine's day, which was a resounding success, and today which is President's Day.  Things seem to be in full swing today, except for the post office and a few other state and federal authorities. 

I am not 100% sure what one should do for president's day, seeing as though there has been quite a few of them, and I have only been alive for 5 so far. I am not exactly clear how some of the previous administrations went.  As a child of public school, I am a little foggy on most of them except for the old standbys. (Can someone fill me in on Chester "A." Arthur?)

In any event, unless they were on money or Mount Rushmore, most Americans lose track of a lot of presidential stuff. The filler presidents are not discussed with any real degree of detail.  I like to call them the beard guys. The ones between Lincoln and about 1910. The problem is, that a lot of these presidents were pretty uninspiring or bland, and if an administration did not have a real war or serious scandal, no one really gives a damp shit about it.  The beard guys really get lost in the shuffle.  

On another hand, I am all for bringing back presidential facial hair. The last president to have a beard, stache or goatee, or sideburns for that matter was William Howard Taft, who had a particularly opulent and luxurious handlebar moustache.  

Friday the 13th

Now, I actually dug something up that reflects positively on the Mayor's Office of Seattle. Greg Nickels has some construction projects in mind that he has a plan to pay for. You heard that right. Their is money to pay for them. It might be a little bit of the Nickels shell game, but there is some money floating around from some tax increases that passed.

Old Sweaty Nicks actually has a plan to repave about a half dozen streets that are currently 3rd world hazardous. That really makes me happy. In addition he plans to have a new park built with a large bronze statue of himself with Tim Eyman in a WWE-esque "Camel Clutch", made popular by former professional wrestler The Iron Sheik.  

Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of jobs being created, especially in the sector of public infrastructure, but, what about getting some of the existing messes straightened out. Seattle is a rapidly growing city, and has been for the last 20 years, and in that time, has amassed some pretty serious growing pains.  The demand for infrastructure has outstripped the supply by a fairly wide margin, thus decreasing the live ability factor of the region. If something is not done soon, people in the other parts of the country might figure out that Seattle is not really the land of milk and honey.

health care

On a more serious note than the last few posts, I have a few things to say about the condition of the medical system in the United States. This is not a Michael Moore documentary, or a rant, but a statement of beliefs.

Once upon a time, there was an organization called the Public Health Service, which would provide treatment to the poor and indigent (originally formed to care for merchant seamen). During the Reagan administration, the scope and practice of said service was greatly reduced, and access to health services in general was restricted to those who could afford to pay or had insurance through their employment. Health care costs have risen to unprecedented levels, and the rate of uninsured or under insured individuals has correlated as well. 

When it comes to the issues that we face as a nation, the first reaction is blame. We want to find out who is responsible for the problem and punish them accordingly. Often this leads to a judgement call on another's standard of living. (ie blaming United Auto Workers for problems in detroit, because they make 27 bucks an hour). A lot of people blame doctors for exorbitant medical costs, but honestly, can we blame people for wanting to make a good living off of their skills, education and talents? (There are a few notable examples that lean towards greed, but the exception does not prove the rule). One of the issues that we really need to look at is that the Health Care Industry is in fact, a business. Businesses are in business to make money. The fundamental paradigm of buy low, sell high is at the core of business. They want to maximize profits and keep their shareholders happy. The organizations who practice business medicine lose sight of the fundamental tenet of the Hippocratic oath "To keep the good of the patient as the highest priority."

During this period of economic downturn, more and more people are losing the health care furnished by their employer, resulting in a higher demand for public health care. We as a nation need to respond accordingly and increase the supply of available medicine. Not only in the best interest of individual patients, but in the best interest of the nation. Healthy workers are productive workers, and everyone ought to have a basic standard for care that allows a productive, healthy life. 

Michael Phelps, You are off the Hook!

Well Mike Phelps, you are no longer a big news story. The media and I have latched onto a better story, the story of Yankees star, Alex Rodriguez, who when when you google Mr. April through September, his name is first on the list. Mr. Rodriguez is an immensely talented baseball player, you cannot take that away from him. However, unlike Michael Phelps (or known facts about Michael Phelps) A-Rod cheats. He used steroids to give him that competitive edge. 

Alex Rodriguez' much publicized mea culpa was just a cheap way to head it off at the pass. He expected forgiveness for his transgressions, but it pretty much blew up in his face. The element he did not take into consideration is the fact that he is a regular asshole. He has been called A-Fraud and A-roid, Stray Rod, and other such disrespectful handles that one ought to think there might be something to it. 

Even the ever-hopeful and classically serious President of the United States was pretty pissed off about it.

"And if you're a fan of Major League Baseball, I think it tarnishes an entire era, to some degree. And it's unfortunate, because I think there are a lot of ballplayers who played it straight."

One thing we have to take into consideration when we evaluate the contents of Mr. Rodriguez' soul is the fact that he had a lot of pressure on him to perform for his unprecedented contract. He had a lot to live up to, and depending on who you talk to, he failed. His post season performance is dismal, and he has really done something that we all have expected.

Now that he has had his little come to Jeebus meeting, I think we all can move on. He will have an asterisk next to his name.

Michael Phelps got ratted out for smoking the reefer. Not exactly a performance enhancing substance. People were all up in arms and Kellogg's took away his endorsement deals. Which is absolute bullshit. He did not tarnish the image of competitive swimming in the way that steroids have indelibly marked baseball. He smoked the weeds. The kids who look up to Mike Phelps are not going to make their pot decisions based on his actions for several reasons:

a. It does not help athletic performance.

b. It is illegal.

c. They have all heard the terrific "Above the Influence" commercials

Now, steroids have a few simple facts behind them including:

a. if used properly, reduce injuries and healing time

b. enhance performance

c. rapidly builds muscle mass

d. they are almost a prerequisite for superstardom in MLB

A-Rod used steroids and got away with it for 8 years. If it was not for the Canseco Effect, it never would have come to light. He is still rich, and still wearing pinstripes.

 Mike Phelps got caught with some reefer and lost his lucrative endorsement deals. He got railroaded for doing something millions of Americans do every day. It may be illegal, but it is not morally reprehensible on the level of shooting chemicals into your butt cheeks that make titanic home runs more and more pedestrian. 

Mike Phelps

Michael Phelps, is there any more room under the bus?  What a screwjob. Here we have a superstar athlete doing some bong rips. In my estimation it is probably not uncommon among professional athletes. The real issue here is an invasion of Mr. Phelps' privacy, and a savage bussing from someone on location. 

Now, Mr. Phelps is not without sin, he pleaded guilty to a DUI when he was 19 and got the standard treatment. 

There are two possible ways this went down. Either Mr. Phelps pissed someone off and they sold him down the river, or someone resented the fact that he is an Olympic athlete and has piles of money. 

The pissing off theory has legs, because as we all know, many people who transcend the level of mere mortal are unforgivable douche nozzles. 

The resentment theory has legs too, because us mere mortals really have a tendency to resent people who are a lot better than us.

In any event, it is a pretty low rent stunt to sell pictures of someone doing something illegal (but not altogether uncommon) to the media. (What would have been a better option is blackmail. I mean, the pics were probably a one time lump sum, but blackmail has a life expectancy of about 3.5 years. Mike Phelps would have probably paid your tuition and he could have written that off on his taxes, and that would have been a win-win situation (2012 Olympics, HIGH AS A KITE!))

Now, the real kicker on this whole strange mess is the fact that so many people care. People are throwing a fit about role model stuff and that whole song and dance. Kids are already inundated with the fact that many of these titans are, in fact, scumbags. You have guys like Pacman Jones and Rae Carruth committing serious crimes on a regular basis, and guys like Plaxico Burress damn near shooting his own pecker off. In addition to criminal activity, you have John Rocker, who is just a regular asshole, and Mark McGwire, who used steroids and lied about it. So, maybe kids ought to pick a different genre of human beings to use as role models. 

Cut Phelps some slack, he is 23 years old and smoked weed. Mind your own damn business. I honestly do not think Michael Phelps would give two hot shits if 99% of America got caught smoking weed. And this whole thing would not have been an issue if some self serving little buddy fucker had not sold the pictures to the media.

Michael Phelps, listen up. This is important. You learned your lesson about fraternizing with the peons. You can do all the drugs and illegal shit you want. Just do it with other professional athletes and celebrities who have something to lose. They will not dime you out, because they were doing it with you! 

PURE INSANITY!

I might have been imagining this, but today, I believe I saw a crew cutting asphalt on 175th Street in Shoreline. They had the big grinding/resurfacing machine and everything. Now, this might really be going out on a limb, but cutting bad asphalt with known imperfections often leads to (you might want to brace yourself for this funky shit!) FIXING POTHOLES!! 

This shit is bananas. This is King County. We don't just fix potholes here. That money could be better spent on gender reassignment for prisoners or creating a machine that disappears parking spots on Capitol Hill. Basic public services are not exactly the core competencies for the region between 150th Street and Renton, and West of a brackish body of water. 

In any event, this was a pretty bold action. Someone might have been jumping the gun on the alleged stimulus package. 

Those rascals at the Shoreline Department of Public Works are really straying from the Beirut Paradigm of street maintenance that is followed on the West Side of the Lake. Now, the Ayatollah of The Emerald City wants to make Seattle the Greenest City on the Planet. One of the things standing in his way is the operation of full-size SUVs and trucks. On numerous occasions, I have heard individuals publicly state that they would pilot a smaller car, but they fear for their safety due to road conditions in the area. That includes both sinkholes and snowfall. (Snowpaclypse 08 sold a shitload of Grand Cherokees!) Honestly, this seems like an excuse to roll around in big rides (I have used it when people criticize my '86 Bronco) but why not try to improve the roads. Historically local government is the go-to guy for improving roads but in the city of Seattle, if you want a pothole filled, get your ass over to Home Depot and buy some cement and gravel.

On the flip side though, big Clownstain Props to Mark Relph and his good folks at the City of Shoreline Department of Public Works. Keep up the good work.

A republican did something awesome.

In addition to launching what is possibly their shittiest operating system ever, Microsoft just announced some serious layoffs. They are cutting the jobs of 5000 workers. The bitch of the situation is that fact that these are skilled, well paying jobs. The kind of jobs that people aspire to and can use to build a solid future for themselves and their families. That is not even the worst part of the deal. Steve Ballmer and his cronies are pushing for higher caps on the number of H1-B visas. These are the "highly skilled" worker visas.  They are a vehicle for outsourcing American jobs without the inconvenience of leaving the country. If Microsoft executives thought about product development with the same creativity and zeal as they do with cost cutting and labor issues, they would have the boys in Cupertino surrounded. Alas, that is not the case. They think they can regain some sort of relevance by laying off the reasonably well paid and benefited American employees, and importing a 3rd world workforce with subsidized educations. They probably think they deserve a tax break too.

Another factor in this whole equation is the involvement of Senator Chuck Grassley (R. Iowa)

Unlike his other conservative brethren, he does not want all the American jobs shipped overseas. He sent a letter to Steve Ballmer. That's right. A letter. He demanded that American workers take priority over the H1-B imports. Who the hell does he think he is talking that way to Steve Ballmer? He is only a US Senator. I do not necessarily agree with Senator Grassley on some of his political views, (the whole Shiite Christian from Iowa thing scares me a little) but the fact that he had the moral courage to stand up to a software giant is laudable. 

Now, for Microsoft, instead of thinking up sneaky ways to avoid paying higher wages to Americans, think up ways to develop new and innovative products (Windows Vista? Honestly?). Regain your market share. Do the right thing. Hire Americans. Make a gesture of goodwill before your time expires. If you think that you are untouchable, you have another think coming. You have exposed your soft, white underbelly in the last 4 years and it is only a matter of time before you have to deal with the consequences. 

Bring Back Almost Live!!

Bring it back. Bring back Almost Live. Never in its history has Western Washington needed regional sketch comedy more. Never has Seattle been more absurd than it is today. (Ride the Slut. Vamanos Viaduct. Snowplows, we don't need no stinking snowplows! to name a few instances of current issues) True. the old jokes about Seattle's neighborhoodism would have to be updated, but I honestly, in my heart believe that the pastures for a merciless lampoon have never been greener. The old Squareheads in Ballard driving around at 11 miles an hour moved to Arizona. The dry heat is good for the arthritis. The yuppie scum couple that bought their 2 bedroom 1.5 bath house for 548k and thought they stole it are in. (They had it repainted, lime green with purple trim is something that only an 83 year old Scandinavian could love).

 1996 called and they want their Starbucks jokes back. I guess they will have to write some material on the baristas at Sweet Spot that are "working their way through college".  Or maybe take a few shots at some of the pretentious, yet uninspired eateries in any given neighborhood. The ones with no decimal places in the menu (shoutout to stuffwhitepeoplelike.com)

We all like a few jokes at the expense of Kent, Auburn, Renton and the other outlying burbs, but the real comedy gold can be found in the city limits. Take a little spin out to University Village. It looks like any one of the stupid outdoor malls in Southern California. It just happens to be 41 degrees, 8 mph wind and a nice rain. Oh, yeah, and things are a little more expensive and a little shabbier. (On second thought, that is not really ha ha funny. More like the sad kind of ironic.)

In addition, topical sketch comedy keeps institutions honest. Imagine if Greg Nickels  had a sounding board on King 5 every Saturday night. It might just put a little shame in his game. (They could make an entire skit just on jokes about his huge noggin!) When the 2012 gubernatorial election rolled around, Dino "Unseasonably Tan and Disturbingly Chipper" Rossi would be running scared. Imagine the sublime beauty that could be.

Now, I wish King 5 would round up Keister and the gang and put them back to work making something good and honest, but I do not believe that it can actually happen. The Condo Overlords and the Dark Cabal that got rid of a lot of really sweet parking spots would crush them. 

Pugetropolis is desperately trying to re brand itself, but it needs to grab hold of its roots and quit being so goddamn smug and condescending.