Bring Back Almost Live!!

Bring it back. Bring back Almost Live. Never in its history has Western Washington needed regional sketch comedy more. Never has Seattle been more absurd than it is today. (Ride the Slut. Vamanos Viaduct. Snowplows, we don't need no stinking snowplows! to name a few instances of current issues) True. the old jokes about Seattle's neighborhoodism would have to be updated, but I honestly, in my heart believe that the pastures for a merciless lampoon have never been greener. The old Squareheads in Ballard driving around at 11 miles an hour moved to Arizona. The dry heat is good for the arthritis. The yuppie scum couple that bought their 2 bedroom 1.5 bath house for 548k and thought they stole it are in. (They had it repainted, lime green with purple trim is something that only an 83 year old Scandinavian could love).

 1996 called and they want their Starbucks jokes back. I guess they will have to write some material on the baristas at Sweet Spot that are "working their way through college".  Or maybe take a few shots at some of the pretentious, yet uninspired eateries in any given neighborhood. The ones with no decimal places in the menu (shoutout to stuffwhitepeoplelike.com)

We all like a few jokes at the expense of Kent, Auburn, Renton and the other outlying burbs, but the real comedy gold can be found in the city limits. Take a little spin out to University Village. It looks like any one of the stupid outdoor malls in Southern California. It just happens to be 41 degrees, 8 mph wind and a nice rain. Oh, yeah, and things are a little more expensive and a little shabbier. (On second thought, that is not really ha ha funny. More like the sad kind of ironic.)

In addition, topical sketch comedy keeps institutions honest. Imagine if Greg Nickels  had a sounding board on King 5 every Saturday night. It might just put a little shame in his game. (They could make an entire skit just on jokes about his huge noggin!) When the 2012 gubernatorial election rolled around, Dino "Unseasonably Tan and Disturbingly Chipper" Rossi would be running scared. Imagine the sublime beauty that could be.

Now, I wish King 5 would round up Keister and the gang and put them back to work making something good and honest, but I do not believe that it can actually happen. The Condo Overlords and the Dark Cabal that got rid of a lot of really sweet parking spots would crush them. 

Pugetropolis is desperately trying to re brand itself, but it needs to grab hold of its roots and quit being so goddamn smug and condescending.